I am grateful to discover who I am in new ways.
Everyone I know is grateful to discover who they are in new ways.
Everyone I don’t even know, all over the planet, is grateful to discover who they are in new ways.
My life keeps expanding.
There are so many things I have always wanted to do, and I am starting to do them.
When I discover new things, I add them into my life, too.
I love new things.
I love discovering new skills.
I love how the new things that I learn fit into and expand my life.
I am no longer trying to get by, hoping just to survive.
I no longer crouch with fear in my heart, waiting for the next violation, the next punishment.
I know that look of hopelessness and numbness, despair on my two-year-old face.
It was not enchanting; it had innocence and helplessness and the numbness of fear.
But now, after a lifetime of internalizing those feelings, I am letting them out.
I am acknowledging them.
They are part of my life, which I am still making up for.
I am an adult now, and I can deal with my fears.
I can let them out; I no longer have to be numb.
The pain is a kind of rejoicing.
So that is what I was feeling so long when I would not let myself feel.
That is what was hidden, blocking all my progress.
That is what I am healing step-by-step.
I can now ask for help.
I can now do my chores for myself, not for my parents.
I am now free to live beautifully and to make beautiful things in my own art, in my own expression.
© 2017 Kathryn Hardage